Jason Statham has pounded out a comfortable niche for himself asEngland's toughest movie star. Independent of what the critics say,his action flicks make a lot of money,Abercrombie polo shirts, and his relatively humanpersona in "The Bank Job" suggested that the former Olympic-teamdiver was ready to wade into deeper territory. But the boring,formulaic "Transporter 3" takes him nowhere fast,Abercrombie & Fitch T-Shirts.Statham is back as Frank Martin,Michael Kors Watches, the daredevil operative whowill deliver any contraband — for a price,cheap Abercrombie fitch. Martin's questionableassociations and felonious driving record don't prevent him fromfishing with Marseilles police detective Tarconi (FrancoisBerleand), to whom Frank confides he's ready to settle down,Oakley lifestyle sunglasses.But a dangerous new assignment arrives at Frank's door in theperson of Valentina (Natalya Rudakova), a carrot-top Ukrainiandolly whose politician father (Jeroen Krabbe) is being blackmailedby corporate polluters.An effete American villain named Johnson (Robert Knepper) wantsFrank to deliver Valentina to her daddy in Odessa as soon as theold man signs a lucrative contract.Driving a sports car across the continent ought to be a simplejob. But Valentina is a disco-dancing,Michael Kors New Arrival, vodka-swilling scamp and, toensure her cooperation, Johnson rigs her and Frank with braceletsthat will explode if they get separated.Never mind that such a fatal outcome would scuttle the bigcontract; the ticking time-bomb gimmick worked so well in Statham's"Crank" (not to mention a hundred other movies) that his fans areexpected to swallow it.The movie's few chases are preposterous rather than exciting;the martial-arts fighting scenes rely too heavily on tweaking thecamera speed; and the movie's idea of humor is Valentina taking abathroom break in an aisle of a convenience store.Topped with leftover environmentalism from "Quantum of Solace,"this stale concoction exceeds the allowable quotient ofstupidity.joewilliamspost-dispatch.com — 314-340-8344 'transporter 3' - 2 Stars, Joe Williams Related articles:

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